Comfortable Being Uncomfortable

I did something today that was a big deal for me: I went out in Zurich by myself! I didn’t really go that far, but it’s a big city AND nothing is in English so it was a big accomplishment for me. 

I have explored a lot the past three weeks but never by myself. Most afternoons I have stayed in Toby’s apartment while he is at work and I was beginning to feel rather cooped up. I could take walks in the park or by the river but that didn’t seem to be helping very much. I haven’t been afraid to explore the city, only afraid of getting lost in the whirlwind of transportation options. Between the trains, trams and buses there is no telling where I could end up and not know how to get back! 

Toby gave me exact instructions on how to get from Hardbrucke to Zurich HB (the mainstation) and even though it was very simple, I was very nervous. I had to remind myself of the same thing I told myself in the airports of Paris and Geneva, “whats the worst thing that can happen?” So what if I get lost? I can use a little common sense and confidence and it won’t be so bad. Also, while no signs are in English there are still lots of people who can speak English, even if not very fluently. Someone, somewhere would help me. 

Before I left my home and my country I knew that I would have to be “comfortable being uncomfortable.” Whether I am in France or Switzerland nothing will be familiar. Nothing will be in my “comfort zone.” I still have a long way to go in learning French, I know absolutely no German, I know no one (except for Toby, who is 2-3 hours way from my new home), the laws are different, the scenery is different, the cultures are different, the food is different, literally EVERYTHING is completely different. I know lots of people who have travelled around Europe but it’s different when you come here to live. You know that what you are experiencing is not temporary but rather the new “normal.” When you come here to vacation you know that you are going home in a few weeks. You know that you will return to your comfort zone soon enough. I no longer have a comfort zone nor a safety net to fall into and hide when the days are tough. I have to learn to be comfortable being uncomfortable. 

As I go here and there around Zurich there are people of all backgrounds jumping on and off the trains and buses. Strangers do not speak to each other and the conversations I can overhear are always in other languages. I cannot read any of the signs. I cannot order my own food in restaurants. I mean, I can but whoever I am with has to try to explain to me what the foods are. Salesmen will sometimes try to speak to me and in all honesty, its embarrassing that I don’t know to respond. They are never rude to me for not understanding because its not like I am the only non-German speaker, it’s simply the fact that nothing is straight-forward or familiar anymore that can be tiresome. I even get nervous around groups of Toby’s friends because none of them are native English speakers. They all speak English but sometimes they still speak Swiss-German or German to one another. There is nothing wrong with that, but I just feel even more like an outsider. Do not misunderstand me: I do not mind that they speak their native language to one another. I just find myself getting uncomfortable when I don't know what is being said around me. 

I knew it would be like this before I came here and I am certainly not complaining, my point is simply that it is a big adjustment. I feel like my brain does not function the way it does in America. Haha! No matter where I go my brain is in overdrive. I get lost in my own head by trying to take it all in, understand it, and be confident and comfortable. 

I am absolutely thrilled to be here because I am quite sure that nothing great happens if you stay in your comfort zone forever. I experience something new everyday and I find that it gets a little easier with every step I take. 

So, I went out in Zurich alone today and it was great! I didn't get lost and I already feel ready to go a bit further next time. I bought the groceries that I needed and I even sniffed out a Starbucks. You're not surprised, are you? I have to admit that the Starbucks stores here are not as good as the ones back home. This one, however, was better than the one in Lucerne! Don't even get me started on that disaster. I would much rather enjoy a coffee at a local cafe and not Starbucks but I am thankful that they have them here because it will soon be PSL time and I am not about to miss that! Also, finding a Starbucks is like a little piece of home. Not a very good piece, but it is a piece nevertheless. 

Many of the differences between here and home are actually positive ones even though I sound a little whiny. I actually like it here, I promise! I love not having Bud Light as a beer option, I love that everyone eats outside, I love that organic food is not as abnormal/triple the price as in the States, and I love that even McDonalds has a vegetarian Quinoa burger! I haven't tried it yet, but I never saw such a thing back home. I did, however, try a vegetarian burger at Jack & Jo last night.

It was a monster burger! The red stuff you see is beets, I believe. I am not sure what exactly was on it but it was yummy! The only thing I recognized in the description was "wasabi-mayo" to which I said, "hell to the no." I hate wasabi and I loathe mayo. 

Another thing that I love is that there is always something to do here. So far I have been to an awesome street food festival, an art museum, the European Outdoor Film Tour, and there are several more museums, an Opera House, and there are always concerts happening. If I had unlimited funds there would be something new to do everyday. However, I am still a home-body. I love cooking dinner with Toby and his roommates, watching movies, or having a glass of wine on the balcony. We can also take leisurely walks by the many lakes and rivers and there are always people playing with their dogs and musicians playing beautiful music. 

Zurich is what one could call a "happening" place, but I am very much looking forward to returning to my French family and our chalet in the mountains. I feel that between where I live and having Toby here in Zurich will give me the best of both worlds! Plus, I live 20 minutes from Geneva, which is also a great and beautiful Swiss city. I may be living a completely new life that is far outside of my comfort zone but I love every minute of it, no matter how stressful some moments may feel.