Aperitif and Driving Lessons

Bonjour et joyeux Vendredi!

Two nights ago I experienced my very first "aperitif." Translated literally it is, "appetizer." In France, one of their many fabulous customs is joining friends or neighbors for aperitif in the evening. It is not something one does everyday, but if you have a dinner party or simply wish to visit without dinner you can host an aperitif. A traditional aperitif includes but is not limited to snacks such as nuts, olives, cheese, etc. Traditional beverages for aperitif are things such as champagne, vermouth, lillet, etc. Basically, appetizers and cocktails! This practice is a bit more common here than in the States, or at least where I am from in the States.

I joined my Host Family for aperitif with our neighbors on Wednesday evening. They are an older couple who live just over the fence and they wanted to meet me and visit with the children. We had a very pleasant evening and I was able to practice my French! Like many older French folk, they don't speak English. My French is far from fluent so communication was a bit spotty, but it was fun. They served me my first real champagne. By real I mean that there is actually only ONE champagne that is actually champagne and the rest is simply sparkling wine. I was completely unaware of this before moving to France. How do you know if it is real champagne? Simple. If it comes from the region of Champagne, France then it is champagne. The rest is all sparkling wine. Who knew?! Not me. You learn something new every day, and sometimes education tastes tres magnifique!

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On Wednesday afternoon I had my first driving lesson for my manual car.

My host family gave* me a Ford Focus but unfortunately, it is a manual car! Yikes. I have NEVER driven one of those! Okay, I take that back. I tried several years ago when my ex-boyfriend made me try to drive his. He loved his car more than anything else so my attempt was short and sweet. I wasn't about to risk scratching that thing. However, this time I don't have an option. I have to drive while I am here and like 90% of the vehicles in Europe are manual. Great. Just great. My Host Family bought a new car so that I would have my own so I cannot really complain. While I am extremely grateful, I am terrified. Time to face more fears, I guess!

My first lesson was not so terrible but it wasn't good either. The whole three-peddle thing is an entirely new concept for me. Who came up with this crap, anyway? I had quite a few scares and screams but I made it. 

You may be wondering, "why is it so hard for you? Its really simple." Yes, in a way, its not really so bad... when you are on FLAT ground. We live in the Alps... nothing is flat. Also, if you have never driven in Europe you may not know that the roads are really small! Oh, and French driver's are CRAZY. They don't care that I am stalling and rolling backwards. And screaming. And clearly have no idea what I am doing. Zut alors! I was okay if I could keep going but stopping for traffic or signs was another story...

Today I had my second lesson. It was scary. as. hell. Scary, I tell you! However, I tackled some bigger hills and actually made it up without "jumping ship" and making Guillaume take over. I was panting and sweating, but hey, I did it!!! I am getting better... I think. We will see what happens tomorrow! 

*I do not legally own the car but it is mine to drive while I am here, and I will have insurance for it. 

Au Pair vs. Nanny

I decided to write this to clear up any confusion or misconceptions about my job: Au Pair. We all know about babysitters: she/he shows up on Mommy & Daddy's date nights, gives you pizza and ice cream, brings funny movies and games and lets you stay up past your bedtime. Both nannies and au pairs are totally different so throw all of that fluffy, funny Amelia Bedelia stuff from your mind.

The Nanny is quite a step up from a babysitter. The Nanny can have various duties and they include but are not limited to: meal prep, bath time, tutoring, driving to and from school/music lessons/sporting events and practices, and play time. Like any job, a Nanny has a regular schedule anywhere from M-F, 8am-5pm or just every other day. But at the end of her shift she goes home to her own life, just like any other job. The Au Pair is quite different.

Before I go any further, let me state that these are GENERAL rules for an Au Pair. Each host family is different and unfortunately many break the "rules" and abuse their Au Pairs. This is why there are agencies to help both Au Pairs and Host Families. It is a very delicate situation and protection is often needed on both ends.

Now, the Au Pair is different from the Nanny for many different reasons. First, an Au Pair often comes from a different country than his/her Host Family. Families who are willing to hire an Au Pair usually do so because they want their children to be exposed to other languages and cultures, and it is usually difficult to find someone diverse enough to fulfill this in your own country, no matter where you are from. Most, if not all, countries have specific Visa requirements for Au Pairs because it is a great opportunity to experience a new culture and it is very common. A lot of people do it illegally but I won't go into that right now. I can promise you that if you go this route your Host Family will abuse you and your work ethic. There is a reason they are skipping the paperwork: they can make you do whatever they want for however little money they want and you cannot complain.

Anyway, an Au Pair is different from a Nanny because the Au Pair often lives with the Host Family. If not, the family is to arrange (aka pay) for other housing for the Au Pair. The Au Pair is supposed to be treated like another member of the family by partaking in the meals, access to the TV, and basically anything everyone else in the household has access to. The Au Pair often has his/her own quarters of the house with his/her own bedroom, bathroom and sometimes a private entrance. I have seen ads for Au Pairs where he/she would be required to sleep in the same room with the children and all I have to say to that is, "hell to the no!" You could not pay me enough for that. Not even Mary Poppins shared a room with Jane and Michael. Not. Gonna. Happen. 

If transportation is part of the Au Pair's duties then the Host Family should provide the means. Either the Au Pair uses one of the parent's cars, he/she is given his/her own car, or his/her public transportation fare is covered by the Host Family. Unless, of course, you are Mary Poppins and you can use le parapluie!

An Au Pair is typically paid less than a Nanny but that is simply because the Au Pair's room and board is covered. The Host Family should provide housing, food, transportation, etc. When you add it all up, the pay is well worth it. At least it is in my opinion. An Au Pair does not pay for rent, utilities, groceries, or any other basic living needs. The Au Pair only has to pay for his/her personal things such as partying, new clothing, etc.

An Au Pair also gets to travel with the family as if he/she is family. Meaning that the Au Pair does not pay for their flight(s), meals, tickets to events with the family, etc. Sweet deal, if you ask me!

The Au Pair typically has the same daily duties as a Nanny would, but since the Au Pair often lives with the family he/she can easily be taken advantage of and made to do much more than the he/she is being paid to do. The biggest difference between and Au Pair and a Nanny is that the Au Pair is to be both family AND and employee. It is a very delicate balance to maintain for all parties involved. When handled appropriately its a dream job! If mistreated it can be a dangerous nightmare. Either way, it is not for the faint of heart.

The First Three Days

I have officially started my job as an Au Pair! I am now on Day 3, the kids are napping, and I am sipping on some coffee. Sounds pretty nice, right? It definitely has it's perks but it has been a rather difficult week so far. Not a bad week, just difficult. In case you do not know, or if you have forgotten, I am an Au Pair for two kids: Auggi, a two-year-old little boy, and Vicki, 3-month-old baby girl. Both are very adorable, but Auggi is in his "terrible twos" and Vicki is still young enough that as long as she gets to eat, sleep, and poop, all is well with the world. Last night I took care of Vicki by myself while the parents went to the country club with Auggi for a few hours. We had a pleasant evening and she was a perfect little Princess! She is a very happy baby and she only cries to let you know that she is hungry.

Auggi, on the other had, has been quite the opposite of a "happy baby." Not only is he in his "terrible twos" but he is going through a lot of changes. He has been with his Mom and Dad every day for several months because Mom has been on maternity leave and Dad is a school teacher out for summer break. Now Mom and Dad are getting ready to go back to work and there is a strange lady who now LIVES in his house that he is expected to obey and bond with. He his a little stressed out about all of this and I cannot say I really blame him. As the stranger in the house that has left her own home and everything she knows to come be apart of a new family, well, its stressful! Unfortunately, I don't get to scream and throw tantrums when I am feeling unsettled. Haha! Well, I suppose I could, but that would be a very unwise thing to do and I don't think my job would last very long.

For this week and most of next week the parents will be around the house so they can help me out a bit. I am very grateful for this because there is a lot that I need to learn about the house, the village, the kids, etc. However, I think this is also why Auggi is being so difficult. Once Mom and Dad aren't around he won't have any choice but to have to "deal" with me. Luckily, I won't have him all day every day. He will only be solely in my care on Mondays, Tuesday afternoons, and Wednesdays. Of course, we will be around each other more than that, but so will other people, or he will be at "nounou's" house or daycare. Vicki will go to Nounou everyday and come home in the evening with the parents. I think the schedule will be good for everyone so that we are not overly exhausted with one another. My biggest fear before coming was that I might get burnt-out on day after day child care, but I think this schedule will keep me busy but also give me time to have my own life.

Speaking of fear, I did a lot of research on the Au Pair lifestyle before I came to France and I do not remember reading anything that I found particularly alarming. There were horror stories but most of them were from the side of the Host Family, therefore, I should have no reason to worry because I knew I was not a slob, a threat, a liar, etc. I have continued to do some reading after coming here and for some reason I have a found A LOT more alarming stories but this time from the side of the Au Pair. While reading through some of these I found myself with my hand clasped over my mouth in astonishment at the horrendous experiences some of these poor girls endured. Why did I not come across any of this before now? Maybe it is a good thing because if I had, I might have been too frightening to go through with it. Well, not true, but I would have been a lot more nervous than I was! So far, I feel quite sure that I made a wise choice in my Host Family and that I will not have to experience any of the things I read. I am sure you are curious, aren't you?

Here are some examples:

1) The Au Pair life/job is often referred to as, "modern day slave trade." Yes. It can be that bad.
2) Many Au Pairs are required to be "invisible" with their family. This means she is not allowed to eat with them but instead must eat in the kitchen while they eat in the dining room, or even eat in her bedroom.
3) Many Au Pairs are required to not only take care of the children but to cook and serve all of the meals and do housework. Often times the Au Pair is told it will only be "light housework" such as cleaning up after the children or helping the parents clear the table after meals, but she ends up scrubbing floors and toilets, doing all of the laundry, all of the shopping, etc. Oh, and did I mention that she is rarely ever paid extra for these duties?
4) Many Au Pairs are often stuck working well over full-time and not being paid extra OR being given additional holiday time.
5) Some Au Pairs have had to miss their language classes because of the schedule she is assigned, and this is illegal and a breach of the contract signed to acquire the Visa.
6) Some Au Pairs have been required to keep secrets such as an affair that one of the parents may be having.
7) Some Au Pairs have had to deal with a drunken father hitting on her when the mother is not around. One Au Pair that I read about even experienced the father climbing into bed with her after he came home drunk.
8) Many Au Pairs have been required to wear a certain uniform and parade around the parent's friends and co-workers like a trophy slave. Some aren't even allowed to look the parents in the eye... they are to keep their head down.

These are just a few examples. Horrible, isn't it? I am so glad that I did not read any of this before coming to France. I have no concerns that any of this will happen to me. So far, my Host Family has been very kind and welcoming. I do not think they will take advantage of me in any way, especially since I don't even have to clean my own bedroom or bathroom. We have a housekeeper that comes twice a week and she will do it for me. Kinda cool, huh? I mean, I will be tidy but I don't have to do any scrubbing or anything. This is definitely a new experience for me! I do help them with meals but to me, that is perfectly normal and polite because even if I were an unpaid house guest I would help with such things. So far, I feel confident that this will be a great experience.

Comfortable Being Uncomfortable

I did something today that was a big deal for me: I went out in Zurich by myself! I didn’t really go that far, but it’s a big city AND nothing is in English so it was a big accomplishment for me. 

I have explored a lot the past three weeks but never by myself. Most afternoons I have stayed in Toby’s apartment while he is at work and I was beginning to feel rather cooped up. I could take walks in the park or by the river but that didn’t seem to be helping very much. I haven’t been afraid to explore the city, only afraid of getting lost in the whirlwind of transportation options. Between the trains, trams and buses there is no telling where I could end up and not know how to get back! 

Toby gave me exact instructions on how to get from Hardbrucke to Zurich HB (the mainstation) and even though it was very simple, I was very nervous. I had to remind myself of the same thing I told myself in the airports of Paris and Geneva, “whats the worst thing that can happen?” So what if I get lost? I can use a little common sense and confidence and it won’t be so bad. Also, while no signs are in English there are still lots of people who can speak English, even if not very fluently. Someone, somewhere would help me. 

Before I left my home and my country I knew that I would have to be “comfortable being uncomfortable.” Whether I am in France or Switzerland nothing will be familiar. Nothing will be in my “comfort zone.” I still have a long way to go in learning French, I know absolutely no German, I know no one (except for Toby, who is 2-3 hours way from my new home), the laws are different, the scenery is different, the cultures are different, the food is different, literally EVERYTHING is completely different. I know lots of people who have travelled around Europe but it’s different when you come here to live. You know that what you are experiencing is not temporary but rather the new “normal.” When you come here to vacation you know that you are going home in a few weeks. You know that you will return to your comfort zone soon enough. I no longer have a comfort zone nor a safety net to fall into and hide when the days are tough. I have to learn to be comfortable being uncomfortable. 

As I go here and there around Zurich there are people of all backgrounds jumping on and off the trains and buses. Strangers do not speak to each other and the conversations I can overhear are always in other languages. I cannot read any of the signs. I cannot order my own food in restaurants. I mean, I can but whoever I am with has to try to explain to me what the foods are. Salesmen will sometimes try to speak to me and in all honesty, its embarrassing that I don’t know to respond. They are never rude to me for not understanding because its not like I am the only non-German speaker, it’s simply the fact that nothing is straight-forward or familiar anymore that can be tiresome. I even get nervous around groups of Toby’s friends because none of them are native English speakers. They all speak English but sometimes they still speak Swiss-German or German to one another. There is nothing wrong with that, but I just feel even more like an outsider. Do not misunderstand me: I do not mind that they speak their native language to one another. I just find myself getting uncomfortable when I don't know what is being said around me. 

I knew it would be like this before I came here and I am certainly not complaining, my point is simply that it is a big adjustment. I feel like my brain does not function the way it does in America. Haha! No matter where I go my brain is in overdrive. I get lost in my own head by trying to take it all in, understand it, and be confident and comfortable. 

I am absolutely thrilled to be here because I am quite sure that nothing great happens if you stay in your comfort zone forever. I experience something new everyday and I find that it gets a little easier with every step I take. 

So, I went out in Zurich alone today and it was great! I didn't get lost and I already feel ready to go a bit further next time. I bought the groceries that I needed and I even sniffed out a Starbucks. You're not surprised, are you? I have to admit that the Starbucks stores here are not as good as the ones back home. This one, however, was better than the one in Lucerne! Don't even get me started on that disaster. I would much rather enjoy a coffee at a local cafe and not Starbucks but I am thankful that they have them here because it will soon be PSL time and I am not about to miss that! Also, finding a Starbucks is like a little piece of home. Not a very good piece, but it is a piece nevertheless. 

Many of the differences between here and home are actually positive ones even though I sound a little whiny. I actually like it here, I promise! I love not having Bud Light as a beer option, I love that everyone eats outside, I love that organic food is not as abnormal/triple the price as in the States, and I love that even McDonalds has a vegetarian Quinoa burger! I haven't tried it yet, but I never saw such a thing back home. I did, however, try a vegetarian burger at Jack & Jo last night.

It was a monster burger! The red stuff you see is beets, I believe. I am not sure what exactly was on it but it was yummy! The only thing I recognized in the description was "wasabi-mayo" to which I said, "hell to the no." I hate wasabi and I loathe mayo. 

Another thing that I love is that there is always something to do here. So far I have been to an awesome street food festival, an art museum, the European Outdoor Film Tour, and there are several more museums, an Opera House, and there are always concerts happening. If I had unlimited funds there would be something new to do everyday. However, I am still a home-body. I love cooking dinner with Toby and his roommates, watching movies, or having a glass of wine on the balcony. We can also take leisurely walks by the many lakes and rivers and there are always people playing with their dogs and musicians playing beautiful music. 

Zurich is what one could call a "happening" place, but I am very much looking forward to returning to my French family and our chalet in the mountains. I feel that between where I live and having Toby here in Zurich will give me the best of both worlds! Plus, I live 20 minutes from Geneva, which is also a great and beautiful Swiss city. I may be living a completely new life that is far outside of my comfort zone but I love every minute of it, no matter how stressful some moments may feel. 

European Outdoor Film Tour

Hello again! I know I have been posting a lot this week and it is not because I think I am some great writer and I know that my blog isn't exactly thrilling, but I know that some of my friends and family like hearing about what I am up to. Oh, and it is really fun for me!

Last night Toby and I went to the European Outdoor Film Tour with some of his friends and it was awesome! This year it will appear at over 300 venues in 14 countries. It was very inspirational and helped pump me up for some of my own adventures!

I do not plan on climbing the Matterhorn or going on a dangerous skiing escapade in Russia, but I am more excited about doing things such as kite surfing in Egypt in a few months! 

The guys you see in the picture above were actually at the show last night and spoke before the films began. I don't really know what they said because they were speaking German, but their film was really cool! They went kite surfing in Greenland! I felt cold and tired just watching what they experienced. Of course, it was a bit chilly outside, if you can't tell by my pink nose and warm hat!

It was a really fun experience and I am glad we went! We actually did not even know about it until Toby's roommate couldn't use his ticket and offered it to us. I did not know what to expect so I wasn't very excited about it but I ended up being pleasantly surprised... and inspired! 

A Day in Winterthur

It is chilly and blustery today but not as rainy as yesterday, so Laura and I took the train to Winterthur to meet her friend, Giulia for lunch. We had lunch at a "slow fast food" place called Jack & Jo.

It was a pretty neat little spot! It was a very "hipster" sort of place. It was in a very old building with pretty columns but the seating and design was contemporary and chic. They had several vegetarian options and the food was very fresh. 

Laura and I had a delicious coffee after lunch! You know I had to share a picture of the coffee. Also, the little piece of chocolate they served with the coffee was so creamy and divine. 

After lunch and coffee, Laura and I explored some shops and then visited the art museum: Kunstmuseum Winterthur. It was pretty cool! We viewed their original collection which included works by Monet, Picasso, van Gogh, and Degas! That was definitely the most thrilling part for me! I have seen their works only in books so it was awesome to see some in person! 

Luckily, I was allowed to take pictures as long as there was no flash!

Vincent van Gogh

Monet 

Degas! He has always been one of my favorites 

Of course, I had to take a picture with one of Picasso's works!

There was an existentialist exhibition by Matt Mullican entitled, "Nothing Should Exist." I try to appreciate such works, but honestly, it was not my favorite. It was a strange concept in my opinion and not one which I could relate to. 

I did like this. The bigger, the better! 

While I try to be open-minded about contemporary art, there are some things I will never understand. Such as the following:

Someone please explain to me how this ends up in a museum! There were even completely blank pieces of paper in there! Like, seriously?! I can be open-minded but lets not be ridiculous. Regardless of the few absolutely stupid (in my opinion) pieces of "art" it was totally worth is! 

I think it is officially fall in Zurich! The first week I was here it was actually way too warm for my liking. I was frustrated that the clothes I brought from France were not appropriate for the weather. I was sweating every time I went anywhere... Especially on the buses and in shops! In case you were unaware, A/C is not really common here. Of course, the heat is nothing compared to Mississippi or Florida but it wasn't comfortable. However, now I am a little frustrated that my clothes aren't warm enough! Ha! I have a good variety of clothes in France but I really didn't know to pack for these three weeks in Zurich. Oh well! Ce la vie.

Yesterday I wasn't feeling very well and sometimes when I don't feel well I like to do a little baking. It always perks me up! But like I said in my previous post, Toby's oven is not American-user friendly (or any user, in my opinion) so as I got started I could see the process was not going to perk me up as I had hoped. Luckily, Toby's roommate's girlfriend, Laura, is here visiting this week and she offered to help me. She taught me how to make a crostata.

The recipe was actually fairly easy, but I haven't really learned how the metric system works yet. I had no idea how to convert any of my recipes to this system and any recipes I found here were not in English. I was very happy to have Laura's help! However, she had trouble with the oven as well! We had to wait until Toby came home to show us how to preheat the oven before we could actually bake it. I was happy to know it wasn't just me who couldn't make that contraption work properly. 

Pretty cute, right? It tasted like a southern biscuit with strawberry jam. Strawberry, mmm. I actually had a little piece for breakfast this morning and I am not ashamed. 

I have been in Europe for 18 days, most of which has been spent in Switzerland but I will go back to France this weekend.

Lucerne

Two weekends ago Toby and I visited Lucerne and it was absolutely beautiful! Everything about it was perfect, except for the buses and buses of tourists. I could never travel that way. They walk around in huge clumps following a little tour guide who stops to tell them bits of information, and they are constantly taking pictures and eating ice cream. In my opinion, it looks miserable. I like to explore on my own.

This, my friends, is a wall of flowing chocolate! As you can see, there is an annoying tourist in the way.

I thought this was awesome:

The Alp Horn! I have always wanted to see and hear these in person.

It was a little cloudy but it never rained on us. It was a very nice day!

Street Food Festival

A week or two ago we visited a street food festival here in the Zurich. It was very crowded, as usual, but it was pretty fun! There were a lot of interesting foods to try. We tried Taiwanese steamed buns which I had never even heard of before. They were very sticky and soft and a little bit sweet even though they are used in place of a regular bun for burgers and sandwiches. I also tried a tiny little tofu taco... an 8 CHF little taco that was most disappointing food of life. The sign said it was fried tofu but they literally served plain, cold, unseasoned tofu on a veggie taco. However, the vegan FROYO did not disappoint! It tasted better than Toby's dairy FROYO. 

I aslo had my first cannoli! Strawberry, mmm. 

The best part, of course, was finally trying fried grasshoppers! Ever since I was little and watched the episode of "I Love Lucy" where they go to Japan and Ricky eats them in the Geisha house I have wanted to try them. I have to admit that I had to give myself a little pep talk before I could do it but I wasn't gonna miss my chance! I didn't think to take a picture of my own, but here:

Thats not so bad, right? I am sure you would eat them too, right? RIGHT?!

As far as taste is concerned, they were quite good. They have nutty sort-of roasted flavor. It was the feeling of having an insect in your mouth that was hard to swallow. Haha! You good feel their legs and head on your tongue. A little creepy, to say the least. They served a grasshopper taco but I wasn't quite brave enough to eat one of those. And after they served me raw tofu when they claimed it to be fried I didn't trust them not to give me raw grasshoppers. 

As a whole, it was a pretty fun night! 

MORE ABOUT FOOD

So far, the food I have eaten has been fairly simple. Good (delicious, in fact) but simple. I don't eat meat so I have been somewhat limited on the things I can try. I do eat some fish but not often. Most of the vegetarian options here are pasta dishes. I love pasta but its not always the healthiest being as it is typically swimming in butter and cream. 

Unfortunately, I cannot remember the name of this but it was yummy! It was some sort of Swiss flatbread type of food. 

Toby made his mom's traditional Swiss macaroni and cheese... so heavenly!

I cannot forget to mention the espresso. One struggle I often faced in America was weak coffee and that is never an issue here! 

My love of pretzels is satisfied on a regular basis. 

So, as you can see things have been going great! However, I cannot deny that I have some very stressful moments. Things that I have been able to do for what seems like my whole life are suddenly a major struggle. For example, washing clothes, cooking dinner, buying groceries, etc. All of those simple things that I did everyday in America with ease. Toby's washing machine has so many settings and it's all in German. Oh, and the oven... don't even get me started on the oven! Sure, the temperatures are different but that is actually the simple part! I understand nothing about that stupid contraption. Buying groceries wouldn't be so bad except that I still can't find my way around the city. There is a small market near the apartment but their selection is very small. I have to take the train or bus to the bigger stores and I have no problem doing that except that I can't understand schedules and locations. I am actually a bit thankful that my visa is for France and not Switzerland like I had originally wanted. I have not had time to get settled in France but I think in some ways it will be easier for me. The biggest reason is probably that I know a lot more French than German! Nothing here makes sense to me.